What I did was focus on two main quotes from Emerson in his "Friendship" chapter:
"It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them."
"A friend is a person with whom I may be sincere. Before him I may think aloud."
Then, while reading through my annotations in my book, I saw that this quote fit perfectly:
"The other element of friendship is tenderness."
What I did was seek advice from people. I was going through a time of confusion and I needed some opinions on my problem. I was only able to to be an Emersonian friend with those who I've grown to know and trust fully. I told them what was going on in complete sincerity and detail, maybe a little too much because some details I could've kept to myself, but I was able to trust my friends well enough. I thought I was being a bit stupid for making such assumptions, but they seemed to be fine with it and they actually helped me out. Usually there would be a laugh for being pathetic but it was not like that. Once I saw how gracious and helpful my friends were being, not only did I notice Emerson's quote about how friendship requires tenderness, but I saw that my friends were being Emersonian friends without even realizing it. I can safely say that there's a tendency to become an Emersonian friend.
In addition to what I did as an Emersonian friend, I focused on this quote:
"My friend gives me entertainment without requiring any stipulation on my part."
I did not experience any time where I had entertained someone and had not received appreciation for my actions. It was hard because every time I would entertain someone, I expected a smile or a laugh back. So, you may say that I failed at this, but I believe that friendship is not mainly about receiving unconditional positive regard, it is a mutual deal where there's an exchange in approval and entertainment. Emerson is certainly right in his concept that friends shouldn't expect an act of appreciation back, but the friend would like one.
2 comments:
According to your post then, we decided on the same day to have our little experiments.
I completely agree with everything you've addressed in this entry. Honesty is a gift because it allows for complete peace of mind while also maintaining a even ground between two human beings. The level of understanding is daunting when people are completely open to each other. Some people might be afraid to do so because they are afraid of being vulnerable. But that vulnerability is what makes the relationship of friendship so beautiful.
Alfredo, I liked reading this. I disagree, though, on your portraying an Emersonian friend and seeking advice, I do not think that this is what an Emersonian friend would do. I think that an emersonian friend would pride themselves on being independant and would like to cut down to the core and just express the deepest utmost meaning of the people. and Emersonian friend would give advice, not take it.
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